LeessaLeeLaaLee…

20th July 2008 - Sunday

Me bangun awal..at 6.00am & trus cheak Dolly y tidur sebelah me…she’s sleep..sgt comel cantik cute…& i told her " Dolly tgari nnti p klinik lg k "… No respon frm her..me tau jugak Dolly tdk larat… then me usap kepala n kiss her…  & me baring lg sebelah her..nda sedar me tetidur..smpai dgr suara Nonoi " B, dolly tiada suda ka ni??" …dat tym Tuhan saja y tau mcmana me..me terus bangun n cheak Dolly lagi……………dan Dolly bukan tidur lagi….She’s Gone…Dolly betul2 suda tiada………. me tdk tau mcmana mau ckp apa y me rasa masa tu, wlu me suda ajar diri utk get ready …tapi its hardddd…too hard for me to accept y Dolly betul2 suda tiada………..Nonoi & Ella dlm menangis pun cuba kasi tenang me….

Me cuba kuat kan diri hati…demi Dolly…befikir mana mau simpan Dolly… Mamy Call, kasi tenang me jugak, suru me sabar….jgn telampau ikut hati……yaaaaaaa me cubaaaaa..me sedang mencubaaaaaaaa smpai skrg pun..me sedang mncuba utk terima y Dolly suda tiada….& last me decide utk kubur her tmpat mamy n suru nonoi & ella besiap utk balik KM…wlupun me suda tau Dolly tiada…wlupun me suda decide utk kubur dia tp deep in me, masi brharap miracle trjadi..Dolly bangun lagi…i still cannot believe y Dolly betul2 tggl kan me…..sampaila bila me angkat Dolly utk masuk kereta………badan Dolly suda mula keras…& again me tdk ble kawal diri………
OTW to mom’s hse..tym me driving…me never stop crying..same as Nonoi & Ella….it was really sad journey…. tiada lg Dolly y bising mau tgk kereta2 tym me driving..tiada lgi Dolly y kacau me masa me driving………..semua memory wit Dolly dtg terus menerus masa me drive……its hurt me so bad…….

Sampai rumah Mom….bila dad bgtau kubur Dolly suda ready…..me angkat her again…. kiss her again n again, me cuba tdk nngis…me bawa her body turun from hse..me cuba kasi tenang diri sendiri….mamy, nonoi, ella, dad & anak buah ikut me…. & bila mamy ckp " kasi masuk la Dolly "……uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i feel like dyinggggggggggggg…….its too hard for me to let her go….. & again me tdk dpt kawal diri…me peluk cium dolly sepuasnya …me tdk sedar apa jadi keliling me but dat tym me suda terduduk d tanah dkat kubur dolly…. me cuma dgr mamy, ela, nonoi nngis & cuba kasi tenang me….. dannnnn dlm terpaksa…me kasi masuk dolly ….she still comel dat tym…me balut Dolly dlm kain….n kasi masuk dia ……sangat sakit, terlalu sakit rasanya masa tu……..dan me tabur tanah atas her…. i will misss u Dolly…will always love u….

… My bf call, but me tdk dpt bckp tym tu..then me tutup… but u, thanks for being so understanding.. dari mula Dolly sakit he tdk pernah bosan dgr me nngis…. he sms me " sayang, pls dun b sad, im really bad at this, i cannot stand hearing u cry sayang… promise me that u’ll b fine… tapi apa pun, wlu mungkin ramai y fham tp mmg tdk akan dpt faham mcmana Dolly really mean to me..mcmana me syg Dolly…for 10yrs..am wit her…kalau b4, org ckp howla if Dolly tiada & me jwb " Dolly will never leave me" ….. sepatutnya me ready dari awal semua ni akan terjadi…..

me cuba tdk menangis lg….me tahan sekuat mungkin…tapi bila smpai at me house….masuk rumah there’s no Dolly waiting depan pintu anymore..bila masuk bilik n nmpak bekas minuman n makanan Dolly…erkkkkkk me tdk dpt tahan….there’s no more Dolly utk me pggl naik katil n momom…thre’s no more dolly y ikut2 me mana me jln…there’s no more Dolly y tdur dgn me..there’s no more Dolly y me ble pegang peluk cium…there’s no more dolly kasi bgun me pagi…there’s no more Dolly for me……..

i miss my Dolly very much……….so much……… Dolly sayang, Dolly will always in my heart forever…. Dolly will always b my comel forever….. i love u Dolly…………

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